Arily Faith Kinsella O'Halloran

Mummy's Story

A sonogram on May 18th showed us a beautiful, if stubborn little baby and we never expected that anything was wrong.  She was a little smaller than expected, but we listened with relief when we were told that it wasn't anything abnormal and it was nothing to worry about.

On June 9th, we had a follow up sonogram to track the baby's health.  The doctor was quiet as he checked and double checked her.  Then he told us that our baby hadn't grown as much as expected, and there were problems that didn't show up during the last sonogram.  We opted to have an amniocentesis performed, we needed to know what was wrong.

The preliminary results came in at lunch time on June 13th.  I don't remember much, just ''trisomy 18', 'Turners syndrome', 'not compatible with life', 'I'm sorry'.  You never think it's going to happen to you, but this time it did.  No matter how low the odds are, it's always 100% for you if your child is affected.

We chose to say goodbye early, it felt like the right thing to do.  But at the last minute, we couldn't comprehend doing what we were about to do to our daughter, and chose to carry on until the end came naturally.  We found ourselves at peace with our decision.  The tears slowed and we found strength to get back to some sense of a normal life while we still had her with us.  We were still devastated at the loss of our dreams, but we chose to enjoy every last second we had left with her, hoping that we would have a lot of time before we had to say goodbye.

On the Saturday, which would have been the day I delivered her after her death, I was woken up early, Arily had hiccups!  Even though, I was groggy and tired from being woken up so early on the weekend, it felt so good to feel that, to feel her moving inside me and makes me smile to think about it even now.

We had a follow up check up two weeks later, and we heard her heart beating strong on the Doppler.  Our midwife, Karen, smiled and told us that she was a fighter.  She's made it that far with so much stacked against her, we were so proud of her!

Two weeks later again, on July 6th, we saw her for the last time on a sonogram.  There was no movement like the last two times, and we didn't see any sign of her heart beating.  The technician said nothing, but rushed through some basic measurements and told us that the doctor would be with us shortly.  We were left alone in the room, and we knew that she was gone.  He came in and scanned a little more, and confirmed that she had passed away.  We were devastated, we hoped so much that she'd be one of the lucky ones to make it to term and maybe even a little longer to open her eyes and look up at us, but it wasn't to be.

Arily came into this world silently at 12:05am, on Saturday, July 8th, 2006, weighing only 14 oz, and measuring 10.5 inches in length.  At 26 weeks gestation, she measured smaller than a 20 week baby, but she was perfect in every single way.  We spent 12 hours with her before we said our final goodbyes, but it hurts to know that we'll never have the opportunity to hold her, feel her soft skin, smell her beautiful baby soft smell again.  There's peace in the knowledge that she chose her own time to leave us, and we feel lucky to have known her and to have been chosen to be parents of such a strong, amazing, beautiful baby girl.

Always in our hearts Arily, we'll never forget you, we promise.


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Last edited on 15th October, 2013.